And to further channel the late, great Brucie "Didn't they do well?". Well no, actually, but thanks for asking.
Like being tied to a chair and being forced to listen to Stock Aitken and Waterman's "Greatest" Hits (under 30? Google it. Mute your device first) there was a depressing monotony today that you were living through the exact same experience over and over and over again where only the name changes but the misery remains the same. For Sinitta read Beakstown, for Sonia read Get A Tonic.
First order of the day- where to stand? We had the choice of betting in the bar or standing in the 2nd best pick in Tatts. Unfortunately the main betting area nowadays at Ayr is by the paddock and we were a couple of picks outside of being able to bet there. The bar "attracts" an "upgrade" fee, both of which are really oxymorons but we still felt that was the better option with a surfeit of bookmakers attending and the impending squall due to arrive by the 4th race (the race the favourite won...). We pitched up next to the toilets (high life huh?) and proceeded to take bets over and around the procession of beer kegs being wheeled in. Nice "upgrade"...
Honestly, I can save you some time right now. The betting blog, with a couple of exceptions, reads "we stood the fav, it won" but, for the sake of completeness and morbid fascination here is the blow by depressing blow account.
1) We took plenty on the jolly City Chief and it was our only loser. We didn't take a lot of money overall but what we did was on the fav. It won from Hidden Heroics who hung badly left under pressure and narrowly lost.
2) Thunder Rock and Irish Blaze traded favouritism and, in a rare piece of fortune, we laid Irish Blaze along with Grey Skies and ended up with a decent result when Thunder Rock obliged. It was well bet overnight and looked a bit short on track when we opened so that's probably why we didn't lay it. The take was pretty low though so a good result was still only a moderate win. Loss from 1st wiped out however.
3) Similar to the 2nd race we had 2 vying for favouritism, Soft Risk and Platinumcard, and we laid Soft Risk to be a small loser. Our biggest liability, however, was on Since Day One so, again, a winning favourite was a positive result and, supplemented by a decent last minute losing bet on the short one at Leicester, we felt we had dodged bullets, had a moderate profit in the book (expenses but no more) and were surely due for better results. I was never a good judge.
4) Beakstown- 100/30 into 9/4. Steady stream of bets. Loser for max liability. Won well (Copy and paste)
5) Get a Tonic- Steady stream of bets. Loser for max liability. Won well (Copied and pasted). Compounded by our worst place result, Motown Maggie, finishing 2nd
6) Dubai Days. 10/11 into 4/6. Honestly, if this thing had jumped even moderately it wins by 20 lengths. It jumped terribly and won by 3. It was also a loser though, happiest of days, it wasn't quite the maximum loss.
7) On bookmaker's software there is a little section on the left which tells you your best and worst result and how much you might win or lose. Helpfully the best win is in green, the worst loss in red (including your best/worst place result). This is a guide or, henceforth as it shall be known, an "unerringly accurate prediction". It wasn't the green one and our day ended in, literally, the worst possible fashion.
A losing day for us and most, if not all, of our colleagues. A well meaning book sagely observed that they were "our sort of results". But they weren't. We can lose on 5/6 or 33/1 shots, it just depends on what is bet. Today, in the main, the favourites were bet and we lost.
Leaving aside the results the take was very moderate. We paid a fee to work in the bar which, effectively, doubled our expenses. Our software, handily, gives us an approximation of the overall value of our book and, today, the book value covered expenses but no more. On an average set of results we were, therefore, working for nothing and simply gambling. On a poor set of results we lose as was the case today. This is not a meeting we will be attending next year, unfortunately, as, whilst we very much enjoy what we do, there has to be the possibility that we can earn at least a wage and it is simply not the case here. At the base badge fee we would have a chance, with the upgrade we are working for nowt. A shame but part of this job is knowing when to fold em and not hold em. So we confidently expect every 33/1 shot to win at this meeting next year...
That'll do for today- I'm off to laminate the printout runners for the Scottish National for our high tech whiteboard and ponder where on earth to stand tomorrow.
Until then...
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