Due to a not unreasonable objection to 5am alarm calls we travelled south on Friday night and treated ourselves to a meal and a couple of beers and that's where the confusion set in. Simon was already in the bar (of course) and Matthew's body is a temple so he was on water. I ordered a pint and proffered my card in way of payment. Out came a big green button from behind the bar. Now, I've lived in rural Perthshire for over 20 years and we don't really have these new fangled w

This time two weeks ago I was sharing a bedroom with 5 other blokes. Well, technically it was a ward. Next door was Big Vlod from Ukraine. Vlod had 2 words of English "Sank" and "You". Two more words than I have in Ukrainian. Vlod also had a 21 gun salute snore but, given he looked like that massive German Aeroplane Engineer bloke that Indy repeatedly hit in the face to no avail in Raiders of the Lost Ark, Vlod could do what he wanted - sank you. Opposite the poor chap had T

Kryptonite, like the power of love, is a curious thing. Well, actually, it's not really a thing at all but you know what I mean. Thirsk is Simon's kryptonite from a picking sense. From the infamous "pick 10 in the gap" on day 1 (20 bets a race, thanks very much) the pick at Thirsk has never gone well for the lad. Tends to give me a ring on the way home. Tends to say "I should've gone there"... So, today's live blog will kick off the the thrill a minute decision of where to st

Me, my infinitely better half, Matthew and his mate Liam went up to Aberdeen on Saturday to see a Stone Roses tribute band. They were supported by an Oasis tribute band. It was great (apart from the absence of Mersey Paradise but you can't have it all). I like tribute bands, they're dead cheap, they're often better musicians than the originals and they don't feel obliged to play obscure album tracks to "introduce their fans to a different musical experience" when all you real

We pitched in 4 from the lawns in glorious sunshine for what should be the busiest day of the 3 day meeting, split up from our songsmith neighbours of the previous 2 days by our friends Jamie and Mark who felt the allure of sunshine and picnic tables. In truth, business was good but we've felt for a few years now that we'd not taken as much as expected. This is probably the new norm and it is still very good turnover for what is still a midweek meeting on the road to the High

As always with these multi day festival type things it's a very quick trot through the book and not a lot else. This may not be a bad thing in fairness. Certainly busier than yesterday and we, again, pitched up down by the lawns; the weather was unseasonably kind and we hoped the picnic tables would fill, which they largely did. 1) Two virtually the same price when we opened, one halved in price, one doubled. No prices for guessing a) which one we couldn't lay and b) which on

This meeting was workable last year and had, on paper, everything going for it; good weather, 8 races and a couple of big names. Sadly, for us at least, it was desperately quiet. We couldn't get in the 4 pitches at the winning post end so plumped for next to end by the lawns and the Last Ditch Bar. The only consolation was the joy of working next to George, but even his normally bubbly demeanour was flatter than the can of coke I left on the table overnight. 1) Expensive Emot

The National bandwagon rolls on from North West England to the West Coast of Scotland and, whilst the location changes, the 6:30 alarm call doesn't. A quick piece of toast and a coffee (double shot, obvs) whilst catching up with some nerdy online, turn based board games, and we blinked in the sunshine as we loaded the final bits into the car around 7:40. Steve would've been on the road earlier for the rendezvous at Perth for 8:15. At least Matthew and Steve could get a doze i

I don't want to get all Monty Python "Four Yorkshiremen" but, at Aintree, Cheltenham and Royal Ascot, you really do have to get up half an hour before you go to bed. Steve's WhatsApp reply to pick up time is not printable in a family blog. Breakfast, if we'd had it in the digs, would've been approximately 20 minutes after dinner on Friday night. As always, when you know you have to get up early it's tough to sleep, even more so when you know it's the biggest betting day of th

We start with Thursday. I meant to mention it in that blog but forgot. In my (and my colleagues') defence, festival weeks are really hard. A new bed in digs meant 4 hours sleep, 12 hour days, upwards of 1300 bets, cash up, eat dinner, go to bed, repeat the process the next day. Don't get me wrong, we love them and it's a great job that we all love, but that doesn't stop you falling asleep on the couch about 6 times writing it, and waking up with a start and a page full of wha

Initially due to go to Newcastle Good Friday with my favourite son but a combination of weaker than expected ticket sales, questionable weather, and significantly higher expense meant Simon was sent in our stead. Workable without being spectacular from a front line pitch - the back line was, apparently, difficult. Good job from Simon to eke out the business and we stumbled to a small win. Weather Apps R Us at Musselburgh again. All possibilities were considered, paddock, tunn

Nope, I haven't gone all prog/glam rock and, whilst I very much admire Queen, they are not really my bag. And now I'm happy I've referenced Lloyd Cole. Phoned the racetrack on Tuesday - expecting a 2000 crowd. Weather forecast was excellent. Matthew was booked and confirmed. He was in an excellent mood when we set off; I'd erroneously given him 9:30 as our leaving time and I had to message him to let him know I'd miscalculated and it was 10:30 we were leaving. Yes, he does st

Final fling day. We had the week's expenses by Wednesday night but were disappointed on Thursday as the wind and rain significantly dampened turnover and meant a vice like grip was required on each and every bank note to avoid recreating The Crystal Dome from The Crystal Maze. We needed a big finish. This year the access tunnel from the Guinness Village to the betting ring/trackside viewing area, which emerged through the centre of the Guinness Village stand, was closed to al

Again, it's late, I'm tired and we've only got Europa League stuff on tonight so it'll be a very quick run through before I hit the hay. Most of the morning was spent huddling over various rain radars, switching between optimism that it might pass north and pessimism that it wasn't going to. The weather was coming from just over the paddock from our perspective, we gazed in that direction with increased frequency, up at the sky, not down at the runners. Guinea Pigs rather tha

As is always the case in a festival week, a very quick trot through the book before I go to bed (9:30 at latest) Though before I start, hats off to my doppelganger who appears to have infiltrated the Cheltenham background music box as we have Stone Roses, The Cure, Happy Mondays and Lightning Seeds on an infinity loop. Lovely. Quietest day of the week and turnover was pretty modest and if anyone in this blog complains that we won't get a rag skinner on Gold Cup Friday they'll

My annual student day assessment and the synopsis is that we still like them. I know these days get a lot of stick from folk, and I understand that, but the reality we repeatedly find is that we haven't seen the horror stories quoted on social media. We've always found students to be unfailingly polite and genuinely interested in how everything works. I'm not saying it doesn't happen but, believe me, these days are a breeze compared to certain other days when the inebriated b

Double debuts for Cairn Bet as my little lad Matthew (now 3 inches taller than me) finally gets on course after the New Years Day false start. He's a handsome chap and a significant upgrade aesthetically on me (former holder of Cairn Bet "pretty one") and Simon, 50+, light beard. He's a quiet guy and I thought there may be some nerves but he looked pretty calm going into battle. Our 2nd new boy was Jack (not Kerouac but indulge me in a little poetic licence...) who is conside