Royal Ascot 16/6/26 - It Was All Yellow

This time two weeks ago I was sharing a bedroom with 5 other blokes. Well, technically it was a ward. Next door was Big Vlod from Ukraine. Vlod had 2 words of English "Sank" and "You". Two more words than I have in Ukrainian. Vlod also had a 21 gun salute snore but, given he looked like that massive German Aeroplane Engineer bloke that Indy repeatedly hit in the face to no avail in Raiders of the Lost Ark, Vlod could do what he wanted - sank you. Opposite the poor chap had Tourette's, but with hiccups. Relentless. All night, every night. With full commentary of how he couldn't understand why he was hiccuping erratically. At 2am.

The point being that, regardless of how we do this week, I really shouldn't complain about bad results, fiver each way bets followed by a fiver being proffered and people looking startled when they get to the front of the queue and, looking startled, wondering a) what horse they wanted and b) where their wallet/purse is or c) what did Ryan/Leanne bet on. But I will.

A word for my consultant who whipped the gall bladder out a week last Friday (keyhole, Alien style) who promised me she'd do what she could to get me to Ascot. Things didn't look overly promising when she told me I had jaundice- the junior doctor suggested that on a scale of 1-10 I was scoring "Homer Simpson", though by the Wednesday things had clearly improved to such agree that she nodded sagely and asked me if I was feeling less yellow. I'm not sure how this is established but I agreed, enthusiastically, that not only did I not feel yellow but that I was trending, decidedly, towards pink. I'm writing this on Monday night and, as we stand, it looks like she's managed it.

Final word before we get into the betting, Kev has decided to put his feet up and retire. Richmond's loss is Lundin Links gain. Kev has worked with us for years and we really appreciate his contribution and wish him the very best with his pipe and slippers. I know he'll be tuned in all week.

1) A very quiet opening betting so we, subsequently, failed to cash in on what looked like a bookmaker friendly result in Ten Bob Tony. We did manage to win more than 10 bob but not appreciably. Frustrating, especially after standing 3 for the max.

2) 5 losers, the most obvious one being the jolly Confucius at the head of the market which gave us a solid win on 2nd in Great Barrier Reef. Places as good as they should be in a bookmaker friendly each way market and we were making up for lost time after the comparative disappointment of the first.

3) We dodged the 5 bogeys again but the winner, Mission Central, was very much in the "worst winner" section, frustratingly edging out our jackpot, Rayevka, in the photo. Places fantastic but we were still smarting.

4) 3 losers, one straight across and the top 2 in the market on our side. We wanted Gstaad for the jackpot, we got Bow Echo for the nice win and, when the top two in the market place, the each ways were, again, in our favour in spades.

5) More photo heartbreak. Like race 1 a modest win on a bookmaker friendly looking result when we wanted the shorter price one but our places continued to be a a dream for us as every place bogey, and there were plenty, were beaten. We were avoiding the bogeys but weren't fully cashing in, in the win book at least.

6) Another plod forward in the win book as bogeys beaten but winner modest. Dividend hit our places and it was largely a bore draw overall.

7) After failing to fully cash in on a couple of big looking results we saved the best until last as we hit the jackpot on Daiquiri Bay despite it being 4th in a list of 15 runners. In the Game of Jackpots we'd hit the crossbar more than once and finally found the back of the net.

As always, it'll only be a quick trot through the betting for the rest of the week, starting tomorrow.

Until then...