Cartmel 2/7/23 - ERNIE

Please cancel out, or at the very least scroll down, if you have an aversion to weak puns. Actually, why are you reading this at all if you have an aversion to weak puns?

We start our journey, literally and figuratively, on the M6 travelling south after our stay in the centre of Britain on Saturday night. And that is literally. Warning signs that the motorway was closed at J32, a quick check showed we were coming off at J36 and an even quicker check showed we were going down the junction numbers, not up- we continued on our way.

Arriving at Cartmel we discovered that a milk truck had shed it's load of 20,000 litres- our colleagues travelling from south of Preston were in touch and go mode to make pitch in at 12:05. Nobody likes to miss a pitch in, we did once at Hamilton Ladies Night- it leaves a sour taste in the mouth. No point crying over, well, you know the rest. We understood that a mechanical scraper, sort of like a massive spatula on a crane, was shipped in to clear the mess but couldn't get the motorway fully cleared so the road remained only semi skimmed.

According to the Betting Ring Manager, three had turned round and gone home, 2 were going down to the wire and 2 were likely to be there but late so would get whatever was left. The pitches likely to get a pick at the paddock or by the party tents were keen to start the pitching in process bang on time to try to get a moo-ve up...

At 12:02 Sean (from Burnley way) sprinted in to the huddle looking surprisingly chilled but the additional grey hairs told a different tale. David was a bottle on to miss but appeared, panting, at the bottom of the hill at 12:07, just in time to keep the much sought after party tent pick. We suggested he turn right for his pitches or left for the defibrillator. He said he wasn't tired, just dairy intolerant.

A 6 race card under the new summer regime and, in fairness, the field sizes were excellent. Regular readers may have intimated that we haven't been particularly supportive of BHA moving start times to breakfast (either temporarily or permanently) but we did feel this particular initiative potentially made sense and, if it did, and continues to, contribute to the increase in runners, then it is to be applauded.

1) A couple of Irish lads wanted to know if we took euros, we do, and they proceeded to place a fair number of them on Gordon Elliott's Arctic Ambition with a saver on Broken Ice- shame Chilly Miss wasn't running or we'd have likely laid that as well- winter is coming... The well backed Arthurs Quay won tidily and, even though we'd laid it a fair bit, we'd taken enough on the top two in the market to ensure no damage done and a very small win was eked out.

2) Elliott's again for the max (Banks Boy) plus Hurricane Ali and Castel Gandolfo. Stress free this one as the only 3 who could win were all onside and Fiveonefive was the best of the lot. Full reward for standing Banks for chunks in the place as well and we took a big leap forward.

3) And the good news kept rolling in. We stood 3 of the top 4 and they weren't in it. Fav City Derby looked likely to give us a small win but, as they went pasteurise (copyright Tam), Didtheyleaveyouout got alongside at the line and was a jackpot. The jolly was initially 10s on in the photo, we gave a small sigh, but then the replay went up and it went 2/5, 4/5, evens and eventually settled down at around 100/30. Steve wasn't sure and I bottled it a wee bit and had a few balancing up quid- I hoped I was wrong and I was- we still had a jackpot, albeit very slightly reduced.

4) 12 runners, 5 losers and with 1/4 mile to go there were 4 in it, all losers. Our Sam hit 40s in running but joined the party turning in to give us 1 winner v 4 losers. Sometimes it's better to be lucky than good and we got the result for a reasonable win. Places were absolutely rotten but we'd have bitten your hand off 60 seconds earlier.

5) 7 runners, but really only 3, and we trotted out the patented CairnBet gag with every bet on a rag. "Will it win?"

"No, but you'll get your money's worth" "Will I? Great" "Yep, you'll get to see it for longer than the others"

Of the 3 that could win, Hard As Nails was a loser, New Years Honours a taker and eventual favourite Titanium Moon a very nice winner. Our luck held for a very sound win and a skinned place book as well to top us up further.

6) 3 losers, A Mere Bagatelle and Copper Fox (massively popular) plus Tonto's Spirit, as usual at Cartmel, and all 3 looked beaten early. Getaway Luv the worst of the winners but another winner nonetheless and we had a 6-0 day. Doesn't happen often. Yesterday's joint kicking was a distant memory, though not for my still throbbing ankle.

***DISCLAIMER - we did look long and hard at the accident on the M6 to ensure there were no serious injuries (thankfully it appears there weren't) before embarking on a series of increasingly weak dairy based puns for your delectation.

Finally, thanks to Henry for visiting us and making his own small contribution to the CairnBet fund and, by extension, the Scottish economy. It was an absolute pleasure working next to him on Saturday and watching him back losers on Sunday!

Couple of midweeks we may take a punt on, but probably not, so it may be a few weeks before we return. Until then...