I'm doing this a bit from memory as the pro team are doing the next few meetings (so no blogs for a bit as the pro team are far too professional for inane ramblings) and have the kit. I have the memory of the race 6 misery firmly entrenched in my mind though.
Cartmel surprisingly short on books as the temptations of a dry Uttoxeter proved too much for many and the line was only about 60% full. We stood on the tarmac in front of the stand in expectation of poor weather in a Jimmy sandwich with the far more professional Latham team on either side. Here we go.
1) We laid the jolly Hophornbeam for plenty from the Irish contingent in the crowd and had Toughasoldboots as our other loser. The two at the top of the market were well clear and we thought we had a squeak when Hophornbeam was the first to come under pressure but it found plenty and a max loss in the book was compounded by a further loss in the forecast. First race blues becoming an unwanted habit.
2) There was no surprise that we had Gordon Elliott's favourite Platinumcard and local trainer James Moffatt's Alqamar as maximum losses and we hit the jackpot with the well bet, off course at least, Island Mahee and we were nicely ahead.
3) Equally unsurprisingly we had James Moffatt's fav Rapid Flight in for the full liability and an uncontested lead throughout meant a comfortable win for Rapid Flight and a big loss for us. More or less back to square one. Oscar Montel the other loser in the book.
4) Couldn't keep them off Brelan D'As on course and, judging by the price, it was much the same off. Another bogey Casamari Abbey was 2nd and our goose was in for an early cooking. Places, of course, rancid as well and we were behind in the book and worse with expenses.
5) If it wasn't Dianne Sayer's Tonto Spirit it was James Moffatt's Dressedforsuccess. At one point Siri idly wondered aloud whether our keyboard only had 5 and 9 working. Obvious max losses- the winner Dr Sanderson was also well bet but the liabilities on the other two meant we got out with a reasonable win, with jackpots 2nd and 3rd. Obviously. Head back above water.
6) Forget about your preening, soft focus, tedious boy band droning about the pain of unrequited love on demand for the mass market. If you want to hear a proper good tune about not getting the girl ask Alexa for the last track on Life's Rich Pageant by REM (before they made a tedious, soft focus droning song 10 years later which was their biggest hit and my biggest musical disappointment). The Housemartins would, I imagine, have been delighted to have come up with something as lyrically marvellous and there is no greater praise. So why am I chuffing on about that (other than to numb the pain of laying £100 each way on the winner Benito)? Because they delightfully named "I am Spiderman" was the early favourite and gave me the opportunity to burst into song at every opportunity (i.e. every time it was bet). Don't let the tedious fact that the song lyric is actually "I Am Superman" distract from the sheer joy of belting out the same line over and over and over again for half an hour. Less joy for our friends next door- for that I apologise. I don't do links but I will make an exception here so you can experience the full misery of the good folks who were the bread for our Jimmy sandwich- Michael Stipe does sing it better than me- enjoy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxQS6lfn0yU Anyway, we lost on Benito and the fast finishing, smashed up but barely laid jolly Hungry Tiger was the fast finishing, smashed up barely laid absolute jackpot that failed by a short head. Four figure difference. And I did hurt.
7) Stuck into jolly Twilight Girl which was never travelling. Desperately wanted Kiltorcan Bay who was going like a train before jumping the last like an actual train. I say "jumping" but I meant "ploughing" so we were left with a reasonable winner rather than a Monster (don't really like that album either) winner.
What have we learned? For me REM stopped in 1989 after album number 6 1/2 "Green" (which is brilliant). We laid 100 quid each way on a winning rag because the guy's daughter liked the name. We lost a stack on the nod. I can't sing. And, all in all, a fairly disappointing few days for the pro and pretty team at CairnBet where we won small 4 days running but barely got minimum wage over the piece.
Not sure when I'm next out but will blog it when I am. Until then...
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