"Welcome to beautiful Cartmel". The best racecourse announcer in the business. In the ever increasing world of hyperbole he's always understated and relaxed. No hint of "AND IT'S LIVE". Just a little chat about sticky toffee puddings and how James Moffatt has won the last 100 end of season trainers' trophies at Cartmel. The sort of guy with a voice who was made for Werther's Originals adverts. If we ever come under nuclear attack we need him on the 4 minute warning announcement.
And where else will you get a brass band trotting out Uptown Girl before, totally unexpectedly, segueing into Uptown Funk? Maybe they got the "Uptown" song book for, well, a song. Mark Ronsons in straw hats. Craft beer, old style fairgrounds, there'd probably be a coconut shy if Health and Safety hadn't got their hands on it.
In the commentary there's talk of "Woodsides" and "Priories" and "Grammar Schools". We're just missing John Nettles, plus a body unfeasibly found in a vat of jam, and we'd have the next 4 series of Midsomer Murders locked up. I love Cartmel. Apart from the getting in and getting out and the 4 1/2 hour drive. As one punter put it to me "it's not a racecourse it's an experience". Long may it continue.
Happy to report no blood loss at the meeting after a weekend where I must've lost an armful, though there was a sore shin kicking the joint after the last. So how did the last leg of our odyssey go?
1) Couldn't get the jolly. It shortened and still couldn't get it so it was running for us. We could get River of Joy (max), Titanium Moon (half max) plus assorted long shots. We had a chap slightly stressed about losing his ticket on Why Not Dream. I told him not to worry. He asked me if that would mean I'd pay him out. I told him I'd never even considered that part of it but yes, I would pay him out in the absence of a ticket. It pulled up of course. He said he was relieved. No relief for us though as Titanium Moon absolutely rocketed home. And yes, that is the 2nd space related Cartmel gag in 2 meetings. We were off to a small losing start.
2) We did get the jolly, Scrum Diddly, for the max, I offered a Willy Wonka reference with every bet. As marketing strategies go I think I hit about 10% strike rate. Hillview, Langdale Lane and I Spy A Diva rounded out the red side of the book. Aramax gave us a cracking profit. Dream of a place result as well. Big move ahead.
3) Dee Star was a loser for most of the betting but a late and sustained flurry on joint fav Duc De Beauche flipped the positions around which we were hugely grateful for and another solid place result gave us a moderate, but still better, win than expected.
4) The betting was widely spread which gave us a collection of small winners and losers on the top 4 in the market with 2 jackpots at the bottom end. Return Ticket (5th out of 6 in the betting) obliged and we nearly indulged in a little twirling. Nearly. We have standards. Not many but some. On the subject of standards I made the same gag about 40 times with every bet on Whodini ("hope that gets you out of jail" or similar followed by mildly bemused look from punter) when, on the off, it occurred to me that, of course, he was an escape artist, not a jailbreaker. Steve suggested something about a locked box next time. That's why he's on the back.
5) Bingo book on the off and a quick glance looked like a malfunctioning traffic light. Every other horse seemed to be a loser and we ended up with liabilities on Marshalled, which shortened dramatically, De Barley Basket which shortened slightly and Fire Away which drifted like a barge. Ubetya, also a big drifter, went clear for the jackpot but it was the very definition of needing the line. We were sucking the thing in. Marshalled failed by about a pixel which was a tiny amount on track but a huge difference in book and we breathed the mightiest sighs of relief. The biggest win of the day and we were flying.
6) So Be It and Walkin Out for half maxes and we thought we had a great chance with the smashed up Mexican Boy. Walkin Out had it won miles out and our luck was right out. Places were again kind and we got a big chunk of the win loss back there, so small damage but no blood drawn. Probably didn't help that I called it the lucky last until about 5 minutes from the off when I realised it was the perfect penultimate. At 5:15 on a bank holiday with a drive home to a different country it really should've been the lucky last.
7) In the actual lucky last we couldn't keep them off Benito. Presumably a crowd full of Sheffield Wednesday supporters rather than fans of Italian dictators. I'm sure there are other famous Benitos though- answers on a virtual postcard. Bells Express and Karavomylos the other losers whilst Strike of Lightning the draw. Heartbreaker here as we had jackpots on the leading 3 turning in who all traded fairly short but Strike of Lightning followed by the unpronounceable Karavomylos ("just call it number 10 sir" every time someone tried) passed them all to give us a 0-0 in the win book but another super friendly place book meant a profit.
Another cracking day for us, the perfect end to an already excellent weekend. It was also lovely to chat to so many folk who came up to me to speak about the BHA initiative blog from Saturday. None of them wanting to see this unique venue consigned to a 10am start but the outcome is way above any of our pay grades.
Oh and special mention for Shady Wadey who asked me to mention him in the blog. Hi Ron!
And an even more special mention for my favourite/only daughter who is 12 tomorrow and threatened repercussions if she didn't get in. Nobody wants repercussions from a 12 year old.
And now I feel like Drivetime on Radio 2 on a Friday. One final thought on the subject before I pack it away (at least until the fixture list comes out). There's a pretty straightforward way, I think, for the BHA to clear this up. Publish the following right now; a) Expected increase in revenue via levy by increasing betting window and intervals between races
b) Expected net loss of income for racecourses affected by moving start times
c) In the wider context publish expected impact on local economy and related businesses. Whilst BHA not directly responsible for these businesses it is not unreasonable to expect the impact to be assessed.
Publish the actual results at the end of each year. Data driven and transparent.
Musselburgh on Saturday for us. Blog guaranteed to be "premierisation" free. Just like the dictionary. Until then...
Very good.