Radiohead and Travis vying for CairnBet headline favouritism whilst Rihanna a big price and drifting. Radiohead got the nod, primarily for another gag I can shoehorn in later on when we get to the betting. Actually, this one is a bit of a bad gag fest. You have been warned.
After last week's rather serious naval gazing we get back to more mundane bookmaker concerns, this week; "how the hell do I get the brolly up in this torrential rain when the wooden pole has swollen so much the thing that slides up the pole (which probably has a name but no idea what it is) is welded to said pole and is harder to budge than a bladdered student stood in front of your joint begging you for the next winner which you have no clue about". The answer lay in the form of joint man, and CairnBet saviour, Mick, a hammer and a block of wood. Hammer applied to wood, applied to plastic thing with the still indeterminate name which eventually made it's way to top of pole and canopy miraculously created. Grateful thanks to Mick who saved our day, our laptop, our printer and our LED board- our relief only tempered by him pointing out "aye, it's up now but you'll never get it down again". He was right about that.
Early on I was having a chat with a customer who was interested in what we do. I was explaining our roles in the business; primarily Steve taps away on a laptop and tries to win us money and I'm the pretty one on the front. Which is where the business plan kind of collapses. Our good friend Mike was passing and cheerfully broke out the Pet Shop Boys standard "Opportunities". He told me it would make the blog and he was right. "I've got the brains, you've got the looks, let's make lots of money". He's not often wrong but he was only 1 out of 3 there...
New gags for us are tough, as anyone who laboured through our Cartmel banter fest last August will attest so kudos to Mike for inspiring us. So when a chap came past wearing a Proclaimers hat scrutinising every board I offered "Don't be walking 500 miles for a bet, sir". In my defence, I had to didn't I? And, of course he had the bet. Along with his wife. And we even gave him a price. We're all heart. They were a lovely couple, stayed with us all day and picked up a couple of winners.
1) 3 losers, The Kalooki Kid and Pentland Hills for the max and Serious Operation for a bit less. Couldn't lay Ilanz and, despite off course support, it had trebled in price in running before they jumped the first as jackpots often seem to do at Kelso. Paranoid Andrew? And there we have it. All that work for a weak, weak, weak Radiohead gag. Anyway, got off to a small losing start- as the fast finishing jackpot Brewinupastorm couldn't catch the winner.
2) Almost a normal book with 2 maxes at the top of the market, Brucio and Jango Baie but fortunately for us we didn't lay the other one and we got a lovely result on original favourite Personal Ambition who had been smashed up overnight and, unsurprisingly, drifted late on in the betting.
3) Another "normal" book for us in the big race with Skycutter and Black Hawk Eagle max losers along with tiddlers on Benson and Caithness. Regular readers will be relieved to know I won't repeat my Benson gag from New Years Day. Cracking Rhapsody won at 9/1 but was 4th in the list and was only a tiny winner for us. We wanted the 2nd again but Ginger Mail couldn't quite deliver...
4) 2 bogeys and a relatively stress free race for us as Aye Right and Monbeg Genius were never going. Of course we wanted the 2nd again but there was to be no late drama for us as Minella Drama faded after the last despite appearing to be cruising. Small win on the jolly.
5) Betting was, unfortunately, poor on this one. Again we had the top two in, again it was stress free as Chasing Fire and General Officer were the only possible winners and again we had them the wrong way round. Still, it was another positive result.
6) 3 of them joint favs on the off in our book- we had liabilities on Camarrate and Governer of India and got a cracking result on the 3rd of them, Mojo Ego. The Kelso Bingo Gods smiled benevolently again.
7) But we couldn't evade them forever and the only one they wanted was Escapeandevade though, again we thought we had a sniff when Gold Des Bois travelled nicely but found no more from the last. Our chest was emptied slightly.
Firstly we were delighted with what was a solid win on a tough looking day with many races that could have gone either way. Secondly, though, the cost of living continues to bite as turnover down again compared to previous years despite what was predicted to be an increase in crowd. Like all "non essentials" businesses we will have to ride it out and hope for better things to come economically which should filter down to us in the leisure industry.
We toyed with an Ayr/Kelso double header next weekend but both are marginal shouts and I'm on badminton duty with the little fella (who's now taller than me) on Saturday and Infinitely Better Half duty on Mothers Day on Sunday so it's Cheltenham next for us. The blogs will be mercifully short as we get lost in a morass of battery charging every evening. Until then....