Like short mid on in the Ashes and the sweeper system in the top flight of English football, sunshine at a Kelso race meeting has never been a thing before in the last 100 years so it was surely due. And today was the day. Brollies raised for cover from the sun and shirtsleeves in evidence. Even Kev's sun cream (waaayy past the use buy date) made an appearance. Perversely we got no benefit from the massive CairnBet mush but we managed to save Bert from blistering in the sun next door. No charge Bert.
We were hoping for the Kelso never before seen double of sunshine AND a decent set of results. That second bit is still due. Anyway here we go;
1) With our small pants Kelso liability (TM) we duly stood the favourite Limerick Leader and Hear Me Out for the maximum (small pants) liability. The other 3 won nicely, Sanosuke being the best winner for us. We liked our chances a couple out with Sanosuke travelling better than the favourite but, unfortunately, we don't think running through the last 2 hurdles rather actually jumping them will catch on and Limerick held on when going second best to give us another patented CairnBet max loss in the first. Groans from behind the stand, cheers in front.
2) Kelso tooketh in the first but giveth in the 2nd. We stood Son of the Somme for the mini, Kelso, max, Idlico, Bak Rocky and Celtic Flames made up a trio of small losers and we got the big result (for us) as Romeo Brown won nicely and gave us a bumper win, despite going off 2nd favourite. Only Frightened Rabbit won us more. A minor jig was in order.
3) There was delay in the 3rd due to a nasty looking fall in the 2nd (understand the jockey is ok). 3 runner races don't get the pulse racing generally and a fairly tedious looking book had us standing the favourite Lucky Flight small and winning modest amounts on the other 2. Joke Dancer was a winner at Kelso and in our book, supplemented by a wee profit in the forecast as well.
Minor Donny Break. Due to a further delay and general betting apathy we stuck the Lincoln on the board in the lull which attracted some interest. A lovely punter of ours thought my name was Sandy which resulted in high volume crooning of the Grease standard of the same name. I can tell how impressed everyone was by the space they gave our joint as the "performance" picked up in tempo, enthusiasm and volume, if not in skill and competence.
4) The 2:45 eventually went off at 3:20 and was a competitive looking 4 horse event. We had an upside down book with the bottom 2 in the market our losers. I watched it on the telly with Mike from Mick Walsh (sans pen) and it was a 2 horse race. We wanted the jolly and Mike wanted the outsider. Mike got the result- that's why he's the pro and we're mere amateurs and our stop start day continued.
Minor Donny Break (2) We continued with Lincoln betting and ended up with a kind of half formed book with small losers scattered across the book (Mujtaba, SaleyMM, Darkness, Rogue Bear, Revich and Brunch). The unbet Johan won and the only bet we paid out was a tiddler of an each way place on Irish Admiral and we kept virtually all of what we took (which wasn't loads but no complaints)
5) The 3:15 was somewhere nearer 3:50 and there was no even vaguely discernible tannoy in the betting ring so it came as something of a shock when they went off with no warning and I was looking at 5 ridiculous liabilities to try to manage down in running (3 in the win book, 2 in the place). Kev was sworn to silence under pain of death whilst I beavered away. We were desperate for Bella Bluesky (the worst liability) to not go off 5 lengths in front which, fortunately, it didn't so we got it, and nearly all of our liabilities, back to something more "Kelso" and less "Cheltenham" sized. The final in running bet came as the favourite approached the last miles clear (lay at 1.03) and a modest win was chalked up on the favourite hosed up and I gave up a fiver of the profit.
6) Choose your liability as the well bet favourite (Kaizer) beat the equally well bet semi rag Sultans Pride. Loss in both win and place books for the Kelso max.
7) In the bumper we took plenty of money for the favourite Bold Reaction. It did nothing but shorten and the on and off course market was incredibly strong. I didn't fancy standing it for stupid money given the weight of on and of course money so only had it in as small loser. Aint No Sunshine was another loser but did give me the opportunity to work the tonsils again. Apparently I wasn't gone for long enough. Fav obliged in the race despite Magic Mike and Rossy telling me it was getting caught. I told them they probably bet nearside in the photo at Newcastle as well if they thought that was getting caught. Sheepish looks all round.
***Kelso hedge watch alert*** It's Kelso innit? Of course our hedging book was miles up- it always is. This is still not a good thing. I am desperate to find a way for Kelso to join the ranks of the rest of them with decent liabilities but the pesky "facts" keep getting in the way.
***Hexham hedge watch alert*** Magic Mike from Mick Walsh has sponsored a fence at Hexham and a beautiful looking thing it is too, resplendent in orange. Check it (and him) out if you're there. He's such a great guy I even forgive him for nicking my "card only" punter in the first.
If you're reading this for the 2nd time (though why would you?) you'll notice a bit of proof reading has been done and the hedging updated. I tried to do this last night but fell asleep at the wheel and awoke with a start to discover about 40 rows of k's and gave up at that point.
In summary we had a decent day assisted by the smashed up, but virtually un laid (by us), winner in the 2nd and the skinner at Donny in the Lincoln. We know many of our colleagues weren't so lucky and it makes this blog a bit harder to write, but it is what it is and we will have our dark days when we've laid winning 40/1 shots and are listening to the oi ois of our friends, neighbours and colleagues. Ayr meeting for us next- we've been warned of snow. Until then...
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