Early start from digs in Carnforth for the trek North to Kelso. After yesterday we were a little concerned that the Highways Agency might've overwatered the bends on the A7 and we'd spin out on a bit of false ground at Hawick. No more drama than being stuck behind an unfeasibly long limo for about 40 miles- the disco appeared to be in full swing and we consoled ourselves with the fact that the driver of the limo, no doubt listening to Dancing Queen on repeat, was almost certainly having a worse time than the CairnBet tank pootling along behind. Particularly as it pitched and yawed alarmingly around every bend- it wouldn't have lasted 2 minutes at Chester... Kev optimistically suggested it might turn off somewhere- perhaps he thought there was another Ladies Day going on at Galashiels- bless. We eventually arrived at the track in due course ready to do battle with the fine ladies of The Borders.
Much to-ing and fro-ing about where to stand. Our usual spot was available but there was also a marquee and picnic area that was the temporary home for 2 fresh faced bookmakers should they so desire. The pitches weren't brilliantly located being well past the marquee but, in the end, we opted to give it a whirl much to the bemusement of our colleagues. They're bemused when we stand 7 horses in a 9 runner race as well so we took their bafflement in good humour. But the opportunity to bet next to our friends the Rossys and the prospect of some covert quiche snaffling swung the deal.
Jonathan came down to see how we were and took particular delight in informing us (shortly after we lamented our trip to Chester the previous day) that the course was in delightful condition due to watering. Too soon, Jonathan, too soon.
Back with our patented Kelso liability nappies on we were ready to go...
1) Not a betting heat to get the pulses racing with 8/11, 6/4, any price you like, they'll still be running tomorrow, type of field. We didn't take much and we couldn't lay the favourite but we could lay 2nd favourite Ted Hastings so, in the line of duty, we stood it for our Kelso small pants (extra tight) liability along with Foxhollow for a similarly stingy loss. Cirque Royal drifted on the off but won handily and gave us a small win to get us moving. It was also nice to meet a guy we hadn't seen for a while who used to bet with when bookmakers were positioned at the paddock some years ago and we're looking forward to doing friendly battle again at the start of the next Kelso season in September. We also met a truly lovely lady who told us that she would be faithful to us for the rest of the day. More on this later...
2) Exit To Where the only loser in the book and it looked beaten by small winner Flamboyant Joyaux coming to the last but the 2nd favourite badly fluffed its lines and, despite idling, the favourite held on and the small profit was eradicated. Fav, fav- it's Kelso- what else did you expect?
3) In a surprising turn of events the usual favourite beating 2nd favourite was dramatically replaced by 2nd favourite beating favourite in the 3rd. I know the SP doesn't reflect that but Rich Belief was the 2nd fav on my board so I'm sticking with that. Kev told me our bogey, The Navigator, was cruising- I lent him my metaphorical glasses as I kept telling him the white one hadn't moved yet- fortunately I was right from a financial and future banterous point of view- small profit restored. Newtown Boy was the other loser at the bottom of the market to bring a pleasing symmetry to the book.
4) Our faithful lady from race 1 bet Brandy McQueen and Lissen to the Lady which I suggested was a template for life. We both nodded sagely. On Ladies Day what else where we going to lay? Brandy restored Kelso favourite order and gave us a less pleasing win/loss/win/loss symmetry. Our other race 1 chap popped round to tell me the winner was his bet of the day and, because, we were such nice guys, he'd back it elsewhere. Carlsberg don't make punters but if they did...
5) We don't do a lot of opinion stuff as you know but we weren't desperate to lay Hidden Commander and it was our best winner. It was virtually our only winner really. The late price collapse confirmed our thoughts and it won in the fashion you'd expect from the market indication. We did lay the obvious forecast but it was still a win overall.
6) Heartbreaking. Absolutely heartbreaking. And so was the race where we hit our worst possible result with a well bet 2nd fav/worst place outsider combo. All that pales into insignificance with the sight of our faithful punter from race 1 picking up her winnings next door. Devastation on the CairnBet stand as we realised that nothing is eternal. As the tears welled up in our eyes and our lips started trembling our lovely, yet now faithless, lady profusely apologised and said she'd made the critical error of allowing her husband to place her bets for her and she'd never be unfaithful to us again. We had enough for expenses but an upgrade from McDonalds to Chinese takeaway hinged fairly and squarely on the last...
7) Our previous paddock punter piled into the jolly with us and got his reward with an easy win and Kelso threw up its 5th jolly of the day. We had a tiny win ourselves and burger became special fried rice but no other addition to the CairnBet coffers.
So, to our lovely (and mostly) faithful lady and our paddock friend it was a pleasure to share the day with you and all of the other lovely marquee/picnic people. Let us know if you did stumble across this blog, either below or on Twitter. Thank you also for the many invitations to the post racing shindig in centre course. We had to decline as we had a hot date with some stir fried loveliness but, if we'd gone, I bet we'd look good on the dancefloor.
Cartmel tomorrow (possibly today if I don't get this finished shortly) but I won't be home until the thick end of midnight so blog likely to be Tuesday but that might make it slightly more readable and may even allow me to crowbar in some further watering/bend gags. Until then...
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