Regular readers will know the existence of Pap FM in the world of Cairn Bet. More specifically in Kevin's car in the world of Cairn Bet. Kevin's work car is a big old Volvo from before the last ice age. Or the existence of exchanges in what feels like even longer. He doesn't have digital radio just a "scan" function on his wind up FM/AM radio. It's so old it might even be VHF/MW- who knows? So what's the frequency of Pap FM? Pretty much anything you like in said scan. Interminable tedium from homogenised local radio stations with the same playlist. I don't know the current artistic incumbents of Pap FM but they'd be comparable with Westlife and Foreigner. He can't even bluetooth to Spotify on his phone. The on/off switch is welded to "on". It was in this mode that we left Cheltenham for our half way stop at Rotherham when, glory be, the off switch started working! It might be because I told him I was pap intolerant.
We get to Rotherham around 10:00 and drive through a scrap yard into the hotel car park surrounded by 15 feet fences topped off with barbed wire. It wasn't to provide a gritty faux urban theme, it was, presumably to keep the baying wolves which had taken up residence with their noses pressed hard against the mesh. Perturbed, we headed for the sanctuary of the hotel. Well, sanctuary for the receptionist behind a plethora of bullet proof screens. Less so for us, as random folk with hoods pulled over heads asked about a "cash" rate had seemed to have camped out on the ground floor. Interesting smell as well. Never did place it. We checked in, I double locked the door. Frankly if there'd been a wardrobe I'd have pushed it against it. But there was only some peeling MDF and a plastic rail at a jaunty angle. Clothes best left in suitcase. Jumped into bed and within 10 seconds a car alarm was screeching. Looked out the window and there was something from the 1990s flashing and beeping. It illuminated the multitude of "park here at your own risk" signs on every other post. I texted Kevin and suggested that we bring the rest of the gear in out of the car. Including the M&S mini rolls which I was convinced would lead to a break in for a late night sweet treat.
Slept with one eye open and we set off an hour before originally planned for a leisurely saunter up the M1. Via Greggs for a sausage butty breakfast of course.
1) Still don't have a plan for a shorty in a 4 runner race where we are taking coppers, so we didn't play terribly hard. Small win on the winning favourite, modest win on the unlaid forecast. We were away in slightly better than no harm done fashion.
2) Two fought for favouritism (Gold Emery and Onesoc) and we had a liability on the latter. Other liabilities on Fakir and Road Warrior which won by miles. I can't even claim a dose of seconditis when the 2nd horse is a fence back.
3) A steady stream of money for Lebowski in the win and place markets made it a max along with Alberts Back. Whether this relates to Albert's glorious return or lower lumbar issues is still shrouded in mystery. Either way we had an ok win with Stainsby Girl supplemented by getting our reward in the place book when Lebowski failed to feature. A better win than it initially looked.
4) Donna's Double the nap liability horse of the day as is always the case with anything running in black and white stripes at Newcastle. 9/2 jolly Geryville also popular and our losers were rounded out with Bavington Bob. Cash to Ash smashed up off course and nearly went off favourite. Fortunately we avoided it on track which led to a nice result for us.
5) Catlin and To The Limit the bad ones for us and Diamond Road a taker we wanted out of the places. Maid of Houxty was another that shortened which we again missed and gave us another tidy win. Nothing spectacular but we kept moving forward but were not so far ahead that it couldn't all be given back. Even won a tenner in the forecast.
6) Hattons Garden and Burrows Hall in for nearly maxes but it was Fabuleux Du Clos and Enemy At The Gate which went clear. Enemy nearly led all but was snagged on the line by the jolly. One of our Twitter followers (yes we have a couple) watched the closing stages with us and we embarked on a discussion about the synopsis of the Enemy At The Gate film. He ventured that it was a Will Smith thriller/action a thon and I was leaning towards a 1990s film with either Julia Roberts or Sandra Bullock about an abusive husband. You'll be gratified to know that my man was on Enemy Of The State and I was on Sleeping With The Enemy. Right working out, wrong result. Turns out to be a film about snipers where, disappointingly for us, neither Jude Law nor Ed Harris take pot shots at either Will Smith or Julia Roberts. Maybe in the sequel. Another good win for us on another off course smash up- it was becoming a nice habit.
7) Started as a bit of a hot pot and ended with the 2nd favourite almost backed in to favouritism from an unfeasible opening price. We weren't disappointed to have got early money on March Wind which started to drift and then never stopped to give us just the one bad result. Lunar Chief justified the support and won from March Wind. Worst winner in the book but it was a win nonetheless and the top 3 in the market placing topped us up with a decent each way book finish as well.
This meeting is always a lesson in recalibration of expectations after the busy Festival- we didn't take a lot of money but we kept a reasonable portion of what we did take to make the trip home a little easier.
Finally, and sadly, we have had to take the decision to revert back to a two man business with Kevin taking a well earned retirement. As we've alluded to over the past few weeks, travel and accommodation costs are becoming more and more prohibitive and, with where we all live geographically, there just isn't enough work for a 3 man team within a reasonable travelling distance. Kevin has been an incredibly hard worker and has contributed hugely to the business and we're hoping Kevin will still come to Ascot with us to double pitch there. But not with Pap FM.
Hopefully Kelso on Saturday if my stomach plays ball. Until then...
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