I've been away for a couple of weeks on holiday and foot golf in Cornwall is bloody brilliant. Totally irrelevant to betting blogs but it really is bloody brilliant. I had Covid there too. That's definitely not bloody brilliant. I felt ok after a few days in fairness but the positive tests lingered long enough to have to miss Musselburgh last Tuesday. Technically I could've gone but "Super Spreader Bet" isn't the rebrand we're after.
So what went on when I was away? The Pro team went to a series of relatively disappointingly low turnover events and turned a profit that was better than it should've been but still relatively disappointing. Minimum Wage (Hyah) type disappointing. Fish and chips and not much else type disappointing. Carlisle for Bell day was pretty average, the Saturday evening was unworkable. Cartmel double header in July was below par. Perth Sunday was depressing. Though a big health concern over one of our colleagues at Cartmel put everything into perspective and I was delighted to hear that it was severe dehydration rather than anything more serious. Get well soon- we're looking forward to seeing you on course again.
On to Ladies Day at Newcastle and the return of the Pretty team to supplement the Pro Team. We coded the board to show the runners in pink but didn't go quite as far as our colleagues who went full pink bhuna. You know who you are. Very impressive dedication to duty and you put us to shame.
As the smart (and top picks) flooded the old silver ring and catered for the hoards of picnickers we went picks 4 and 19 on the front line and hoped to pick up the bar crowd. A wee shower was forecast and we hoped they were right. The way we bet if we go by the picnic areas we generally lay the outsiders and the funny names and want the top of the market to prevail, in front of the bars and you're gonna need some traditional results. Not a massive spoiler to say that the picnic areas would've suited us better.
1) Our screen politely informed us that our best result was 4-5-8. At the same time it sternly warned us that our worst result was 3-7-2. We were in a 4 figure hole (including expenses) after the massively bet Real Terms (3) beat the massively each way bet Highland Premiere (7) and Life On The Rocks (2) for a max loss in the win book which was compounded by a max loss in the place book. "It's already a long way back" as Steve sagely observed. That's why he's a pro and I'm merely the pretty one.
2) Another "normal" book for us as we laid 3 of the top 4 in the market (Thaayer, Odd Socks Havana and Iron Sheriff) for the max and nasty place liabilities as well. We were relieved that the odd one out of the 4 (Reclaim Victory) won for a decent sum, punctured by big place payouts on Iron Sheriff and Thaayer. Still 4 figures behind but only just rather than "not even close"
3) "Is that the top 3 in the market in the first 3 races?" read Steve's message to me after Sound Angela won by about a furlong. More or less. I can't even morally claim seconditis with EmpireStateOfMind (that was worth a fortune) as it was passing the picnic area as the winner passed the line. To continue the earlier fish and chips analogy we were getting battered as another max loss was racked up.
4) Dull. And not the town in Perthshire that is delightfully twin towned with the town of "Boring" in, I think, Canada. Couple of modest losers (Highfield Viking and Jinxster) a totally unhedged book and a small winner in Solutre. Barely a dent in the loss. Half way through the card and we were still being battered. Like a Stonehaven Mars Bar.
5) Ah, the vagaries of the CairnBet system. Another totally untouched book saw 3 losers (Roll It In The Glitter, Tremendous Times and Jim's Cracker). Chillhi won and was our worst winner but at least it was a winner and the second horse (Bowland Prince) at much the same price as Chillhi was worth 5 times as much. Gift horse. Mouth. Still losing though.
6) 4 runner race. We laid 3 of them- 2 for losses (Elegant Erin and Lazyitis) and one taker (Lady Celia) which left us with a one horse book. It was my expected lay of the day as well. "Miss Nay Never" running in black and white on Ladies Day at Newcastle. Fortunately we barely laid it. Fortunately it led all, got caught, rallied and held on and we finally had a jackpot. And we finally had a wage. Yep, another minimum one. Hyah. To add to my simple life of joy the race featured Lazyitis which gave me a free Happy Mondays reference without even trying. And you've still got a They Might Be Giants Lyric and Psychedelic Furs lyric to uncover. Though if you're struggling with The Psychedelic Furs one you may want to consider unfollowing. Oh and we nicked 40 quid in the forecast as well. Whoop. And we had a wage. Not as big a wage as our worker but, nonetheless a wage.
7) We were keen to get Sea King in. Fortunately the money was there, though the 11/8 I laid a couple of bets at raised some eyebrows at the Pro team pitch when it shortened dramatically on the off. No matter, it lost, as did our other bogey "HaveYouMissedMe" and we had a solid win with Pride of the Priory though it would've been solider (is that even a word?) win with Thundering who was snagged on the line. Woo hoo. We had a slightly bigger wage. And it was just on minimum wage! But could we hang on to 10 quid an hour?
8) No. No we couldn't. Top 3 in the market - Autonomy for the max, Oh So Chic and Hackberry for half. In truth we should've lost more than we did on Hackberry but Steve didn't like it for the max so we didn't go full bhuna on it. Well done Steve. We had a lovely guy in a splendidly vivid striped shirt who had plenty each way on the winner. At least we steered his equally chunky each way bet on 3rd placed TaxMeIfYouCan at an early bird price that may cost a trader his job.
So, yep, for two days work we were happy to come out with a no harm done but no forward progress situation. It's been a pretty moderate run for us after a cracking spring and early summer but them's the breaks I guess. You never know we might win at Kelso over winter... I have done my customary analysis, especially after a pretty modest period but, with the exception of an absolutely smashed up (16s into 8s ish) one at Perth we continue to lose (when we do) on the ones at the top of the market so we'll continue to stand Aunty Hilda's Dog, Uncle Percy's Pipe, Hot Lippy and all the other funny named ones until we see different. Apart from at Kelso. Obviously.
Finally, I once bought tickets for The Psychedelic Furs for me and a particularly pretty girl who, frankly, I couldn't believe agreed to go with me. Royal Court in Liverpool. Late 80s I think. I booked the tickets 2 weeks before the gig. They posted them out. They were ticket numbers 28 and 29. I wasn't hopeful and, of course, the gig was cancelled along with the, sort of, date I had with the girl who was out of my league, never to be resurrected. Fortunately married a girl even further out of my league for which I am eternally grateful. If you don't believe me just ask Pinno...
50/50 to go to Perth on Wednesday. 100/0 to go to Musselburgh Friday. Until then. Or at least one of them...
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