An early pitch in, like the power of love, is a curious thing. Even more so when combined with a 12:20 start. On track with prices on the board when it's still nearer breakfast than lunch is just wrong, especially in the middle of summer when it doesn't go dark until, well, where I live, it doesn't go dark at all.
The early bettors are not actual bettors as such. They're there for the calisthenics. Or to break their new shoes in. Up and down and up and down and up and down. Usually with a forlorn or, at least, careworn look on their face, often married with a hopeless shrug until, miracle upon miracles, someone with 21/10 in their price ladder goes the aforementioned 21/10 whilst everyone else is 2/1. For a fiver. They can put that 50p towards the Timpsons bill for resoling their shoes. If they'd asked nicely we might've laid them 9/4 anyway. By race three 99% of the crowd are choosing the shortest queue just to get on and get back to their pint.
In early premierisation news (STILL not a word) the 12:20 betting heat wasn't hot and we were 70% down on turnover on the 1st race versus 12 months ago. Bring on 10 o'clock I say! We'll hit 95% shortfall. Well, we won't cos we won't be there but someone, somewhere will. I'll be looking at my "it's always 5 o'clock somewhere" gin glass thinking it's about 7 hours away and the needy and desperate who actually turned up will be laying a bet a race. #growthesport
1) Next to the infinitely superior Mick Walsh team we proudly announced we had 4 losers and 5 winners. We promised we'd try harder to get more losers in the next. One of the winners (backed in jolly Batal Dubai) won though we really wanted the 2nd, Animate, to draw us a bigger profit. You're welcome. Good places too supplemented the small win to get us to The dizzy heights of "moderate". We were also in full on "what's the number please?" mode. We had a group of 6 ladies betting with us. They all asked for the names. 0% success rate. I resolved to make it 100% by the last.
2) As promised in race 1 we managed to concoct 5 losers and just the 3 winners and we invited Henry in to gaze upon our folly. We'd have liked Spycatcher but had to settle for Tiber Flow for yet another small becomes moderate after places win. Mike implored is not to twirl the favourites if they won and they were onside. We respect him too much to even consider it. Oh, and I got called "Flowerpot" for the first time in my life. Delicious.
3) With the first of a double header of long distance races up the toilet was full of aging bookmakers. As my prostate is 10 years older than Steve's I pulled rank and got first dibs. No favourite onside here with Blow Your Horn very popular. Me and Henry discussed the merits of the obvious joke but felt it was too smutty for a 1pm crowd. 6pm on Ladies Day, maybe, but not at lunchtime on Plate Day. We lost on the winner La Hacienda whilst our colleagues twirled. We felt stepped on whilst the straight layers were 24 hour party people. And I didn't have a melon to twist. Just some orange cordial. It wasn't a lucky wee.
4) From bad to worse as we got stuck into Golden Rules and Zoffee whilst also losing on Omniscient and Aztec Empire. So why worse? Cos we took a bet after the off to turn Calling The Wind from a winner to a loser and it duly obliged. The guy we gave the bet to didn't even have the good grace to look sheepish when he collected. I kicked the joint. Sometimes only making your sprained ankle worse will do. Steve had taken advantage of the 2nd long distance job. His wee was no more lucky than mine.
5) We stood all the odd ones. 1, 3, 5 and 7. If 9 wasn't a non runner we'd have probably stood that as well. We got full reward when Zip was snagged by jackpot Adeb and we were finally turning a profit. Henry had a nose at that as well.
Mild abuse break as next door labelled us dinosaurs for not taking cards. Given we were throwing them 10 bets a race we asked them for a cut. Mike starting whistling the Barney tune.
6) We were proud to, once again, have more winners than losers- 4 v 3 to be precise. And we got a nice win with jolly Markakol and a cracking place result with the 3 big liabilities all unplaced. We were flying.
7) And then we weren't. No prizes in this one for us as Nobel went out into the softest of soft leads and was evens in running after a furlong. Don't think it was any bigger than that as it led all and hosed up. The places softened the blow but the previous 2 races' optimism was gone.
8) And then we were battered again. 4 losers, the worst of which won well from a taker and a jackpot. We were in place bullet dodging mode as half the loss was clawed back but still a disappointing finish. Still, at least my 6 ladies had a 100% "giving the number" success rate as promised.
As I may have mentioned previously we never win on Plate Day. We may have to qualify that to "we never win what we could" on Plate Day but a tough day for all, no matter how you bet, gave us a wages day but there was to be no Ascot style jackpot this week.
Cartmel tomorrow. Until then...
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