I know you are only reading this to see how the big CairnBet v Pinno Golf Match ended and modesty prevents me from mentioning CairnBet's undefeated record over 4 matches (if you count The Himalayas at St Andrews- and I do!) Baz can always take comfort in the fact that a) he will always be a better bookmaker than us and b) he was probably running for a mark. And you'll see that modesty didn't prevent me after all. An excellent few days topped off by Pinno having the good grace to end his 3 day stay with us before Everton annihilated Liverpool in the Derby and me and my favourite son avoided further pain- frankly watching us get battered was pain enough.
The answer to "Where's Tashy" on Monday night was "in front of the pizza oven with something cold in hand listening to Stone Roses". My favourite daughter has taken something of a shine to the Tom Selleck-a-like maestro and provided full instruction on how not to overload the base with too much sauce and how to ensure a nice doughy crust. Half bbq and half tomato base though? Hmm, more work to do there...
1) As is usually the case, the take on the first was the lowest of the day, as is usually the case, bookmakers still complain even when they get a result and we're no different. We won a bit less half of what we took but that wasn't much but still better than losing on the 3 bogeys, Mack The Man, Rascal and Cuban Cigar. We stuck the original 2 favourites in with Stoke The Fire (the very short favourite in the 3rd) and laid a couple of bets which were down before we hit the 1/5 shot.
2) Couldn't complain here though as we cashed in as Bretney led all. We had the top 3 in the market in the book and took full advantage. Results at Perth? Would wonders ever cease?
3) Yeah, they would cease but hardly a surprise as hot favourite Willie Mullins' Stoke The Fire won with barely a flinch from the pilot. We stood 6 out of 8, as you know doubt guessed, but the betting was weak and the win was small. We put up the "Fire" double with the jolly in race 5 and attracted a whole 1 bet. It did allow me to sing a couple of Springsteen numbers. Well, I say "sing". Next door winced. In passing, if you've never seen Robin Williams do Elmer Fudd doing "Fire" by Bruce Springsteen stop whatever you are doing now and Google it. Genius.
4) We'd managed to go 3 whole races without getting a massive jackpot beaten from shorter than 1.1 so we had to get a massive jackpot beaten from shorter than 1.1 - about 1.02 we think. Massive difference and, rather than Brideshead, it was Ayr Revisited. Shoulders sagged throughout the ring. Bookmakers do like a moan though.
5) We couldn't keep them off Geryville and stood it for the max along with African Dance. Another jolly prevailed, despite the above "Fire" double we laid, it was a small win on a jolly.
6) As Lady Bracknell may have (sort of) observed, to lose on one 1.02 shot was unfortunate, to lose on 2 was careless. Technically we didn't have one hit 1.02 but we had 4 jackpots amongst the only 4 who could win. Opinions range on what the favourite hit (from 8s to 40s) before going on to win in the most unexpected fashion but it was definitely "big". And, for those following our current run, not that unexpected. I grumbled. Loudly.
7) Look, I know we moan. Of course we do. And we forget the ones that go our way. But this is getting ridiculous now. Jackpots everywhere. We'd seen off 3 of the 4 losers in the book. The only other one, Takt De Touque was a million as it was swallowed up by a host of massive, massive winners. I don't need to tell you the rest. We're pretty chilled about stuff that goes against us but Steve looked like his phone was going to be launched into the Tay and I did my best Temuri Ketsbaia impression, but instead of repeatedly kicking the McDonalds ad behind the goal, it was the joint that got the kicking on repeat. I sprained my ankle a while back. It looks like a football tonight.
I don't do luck, karma, horoscopes or any of that gubbins. It's all rubbish. I know that the balance of probabilities will even itself out over time. But, at the moment, the light at the end of the tunnel is probably a high speed train coming in the opposite direction. We won today when we probably shouldn't but it was a small one when a monster day looked likely at times in the last few races
As a much better bookmaker than me put it, it's like a rollercoaster you can't get off. But we will. Maybe at Musselburgh or Newcastle on Friday. Until then...