I'm writing this preamble on Monday night so I have no idea how we've done but I do know what's happened on the trip down.
We dropped off the gear at Ascot. Understandably there is a lot of security around the equipment you are taking into the course. Car checked and gear sniffed by a rather friendly spaniel and we were in to the Windsor Enclosure to pick up the week's tickets and get a sneak preview of the new layout. And there is a new layout. No bookmakers on the running rail means that 30 odd pitches are being relocated elsewhere. It's a guessing game.
As we entered through the gate we mentioned that we had tickets to pick up. "You can get them inside or outside mate" we were told. So we turned left towards the ticket office. The nice chap at the next security point advised that we could not, actually, get our tickets from inside. We thanked him for the information, did a quick 3 point turn and headed back. We parked up, walked down to the gate and let the guy know we'd just be 10 minutes getting our tickets. And that's when the world ended. "You've created total chaos" we were told. He wasn't happy. And the 5 security guards frantically jabbing their walkie talkies backed up the gateman's assertion. A 10 minute discussion ensued about who told who what whilst we stood in utter bemusement. Eventually we ventured that we had merely turned left, couldn't get out tickets, turned round, parked up and were employing Shank's Pony in our quest for luminous wristbands. "Chaos, absolute chaos". Apparently turning left instead of right was the source of a detailed investigation from the great and good of Ascot security that Hercule Poirot would have been proud of. God knows what'll happen when a group of aled up blue suiters get checked by a pair of spaniels and have their talc confiscated on Saturday afternoon. They'll be begging for an errant directional misdemeanour.
We are double pitching and welcome back Kevin for the week along with Simon who has ventured south to add his Yorkshire "charm" to the CairnBet offering. The good folk of Ascot won't know what hit them. Though it'll likely involve the justification of the selection of Jonny Bairstow in the England T20 squad. Along with a request for the recall of Joe Root. And Geoffrey Boycott.
For those who followed Guava-gate at Cheltenham you'll be delighted to know that Kevin was back in the shopping saddle for us but under strict supervision. In case you were wondering we finally got rid of the undrinkable Guava as a re-gift at the weekend. The gift that eventually kept on giving.
Morrisons in Bracknell was our supermarket of choice. I left my iPhone in the car and after retrieving it I find Kevin staring at the packets and packets of lettuce, all yellow stickered, all with an end date of tonight. Kevin was drowning in a sea of befuddlement. He gazed up at me and observed "there's no salad". There may have been the first stirring of actual tears. And I thought turning left instead of right was traumatic. Eventually Kev spluttered to a Morrisons Fruit and Veg specialist that they didn't have any lettuce in date. Apart from the whole wall of it on the other side of the spuds. It was like the night before Christmas for blog content. Visions of Richmond sausages danced in my head.
And we move on 24 hours. We put one (Steve and Kevin) up near the big bar on the lawn and one (me and Simon) in what is colloquially known as "The Music Bar"- I'm getting old. Steve and Kevin sweet talked 2 tables of nurses whilst we worked our magic on a group of Americans "enjoying" Lady Gaga- I'm really getting old. The bar was disappointing from a bet slip point of view but we did see the odd lumpy bet. Steve and Kevin took a lot more bets though many in the "what's your minimum bet range?". Tuesday is always mildly disappointing but this felt worse and the general downward trend continues.
1) 7 losers out of 13 runners. You know you love it really. 5 rags plus Big Rock and Maljoom. Charyn won well, as did we, the places were sensational after we stood 4 for plenty- none placed- and we were off to a flyer. With a favourite I'm afraid. Apologies to those of a sensitive disposition.
2) We trimmed the loser count to just 5 in the next and 3 rags went to the line. We wanted Rashabar in the photo and we got it after quite the delay. Just like the Guava, it was the gift that eventually gave. Excellent places again as the big place bogey, Cool Hoof Luke, was, mercifully, 4th.
3) Lot of cash for Big Evs plus another 3 bogeys dotted around. Top 3 in the betting were top 3 in the race which meant a small win in the win book on 2nd favourite Asfoora, which was trebled as we stood plenty at the bottom for plenty. We were defying the modest take and powering onwards.
4) A big lump came in for Henry Longfellow at the music bar and it looked like we were paying out until the fast finishing Rosallion gave us another cracker as we'd also stood the jolly Notable Speech.
5) The nature of what we do means we don't always cash in on a traditional looking result and it was the case here. Small win but poor places meant we barely moved the needle in either direction.
6) Israr smashed up. Another bore draw as our earlier exploits were fizzling out. 3 quid win in the book if you're interested. I wasn't.
7) A good finish though as we laid a few into liability at the top of the market but, fortunately, Belloccio wasn't one of them. To be picky we'd have much preferred the 2nd horse, Lmay, though more place joy after standing, and avoiding, half the field.
A great result can't mask the ongoing concerns about crowds and turnover. Some better minds than mine (in racetrack management) need to be creative. And quickly. Tomorrow's ticket sales are a hair worse so we know we'll be seeing much of the same. If you can bear it we're back tomorrow. Until then...
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