CairnBet friend Sparky and founder member of the Bonzai Golfing Society) arrived with us on Sunday. Easy Jet from Stansted. An hour's delay. Obviously. Sparky lives in Orlando now so he's come to Scotland for a week's golf and the weather. Also obviously. Yesterday was our highlight day with 36 holes at Pitlochry. Though more "buggying up that hill" that "running" at our age. Kate Bush would become a theme for the day.
I'm out of the running for the Claret Jug already. A fat lob wedge on the last dumped into the burn took me from contender to chump on Stableford point fest day. I've won it a million times already- about time someone else did. Kev had a massive lead after two round but he's already shaking like a poo-ing dog and he needs me to do him a favour in the 4 ball tomorrow at Alyth. I fancy Steve but the sentimental money is down on Sparky to take the trophy back home. And, no, it's not a Mickey Mouse tournament.
We were at Musselburgh courtesy of Sparky's bad back rest day- we parked up and asked the guy what the attendance was going to be. 1000 apparently. On the gate it was 800-900, by the time we got to the ring it was 500. If we'd gone as far as the lass on the chippy we'd have been behind closed doors.
1) We had a fairly conservative gameplan today as we would've been 50/50 at best to attend without our friend's vertebrae considerations so we felt we didn't want to give it away in a quiet meeting we normally would steer clear of. Obviously we then had 4 losers in the first (Mahalik, Act of Will, Trabajo Detecho and Maureen's Lass) I did my very best Spanish accent, even getting up the requisite phlegm, with every Trabajo bet. I still have no idea whether it's even Spanish. A lovely lady who ended up betting with us all day asked Kev for a tip- Kev launched into a full explanation of the relative merits and demerits of each runner whilst I stood behind him holding up 5 fingers. Our lady asked for an outsider to go with my suggestion of horse 5. I told her I quite liked the 1 horse for a place- she bet 3 and 8. In a rare moment of success 5 beat 1 and we got the actual, as well as metaphorical, win. Decent start for the good guys.
2) Another 4 losers at the bottom of the market v 3 winners at the top. We wanted Don't Fight It, we got Dixiedoodledragon for the worst result in the win and place market. Kate Bush watch- Heathcliffs Girl gave me another opportunity to channel Kate. Really, really badly.
3) Primo and Bonito Cavalo the losers in what was, in truth, a pretty tedious book. Fav Canaria Prince won us small but a nice place book gave us a few more quid. Sparky picked up sausage and chips. Canaria Prince won to cover the fried confection. It was as dull as it sounds.
4) Another upside down book with 4 losers at the bottom and a modest winner in fav Wise Eagle. We wanted the 2nd, Haizoom, for the jackpot though.
5) We liked Breckland but we couldn't keep them off it. We played a draw with it. Another dose of seconditis with How Bizarre.
6) Couldn't keep them off the winner, Burkhali Girl which was a poor result for us along with a wretched place result- hard to take a positive.
7) Jilly Cooper the bad one along with Gometra Ginty. Winner Bicep a reasonable winner to round out our day of moderation. As an aside we had a chap looking to back Jackhammer. Instead of just asking us for the price he wanted he told each and every bookie he was going up and down the line to scrutinise every single price in the hope we would fall at his feet and beg for his business. I cut it 2 prices on moral grounds until he'd gone. I'm assuming he'd got 22/1 somewhere (it went off 20s) as he clutched the golden ticket whilst simultaneously scowling at every bookmaker on his way back. Just before he got to our board I couldn't help myself and stuck it up to 33s as he walked past. Little things. Honestly, if you want a price come and ask us what you want without the Sword of Damocles nonsense. You'll probably get it as well. Be nice people.
So that was it- as boring as I expected it to be in both betting and blogging but we got a few quid despite laying Sparky the winner in the 6th at an unfeasibly huge 20/1. I'm off for weeks now, sacrificed on the altar of board game demos, youth football coaching and a disappointing lack of northern options in early September. Until then...
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