Royal Ascot 24/6/23 - Ode to Joy.

It was busy and it was hot. Neither of these should've been a surprise as we knew it was a sell out and we had enough 4G in our digs to access the Met Office app. It was still commented on every 5 minutes by every bookmaker though. As the crowds poured in so did the bets. Eamonn, who was helping us out, had begun to wonder why we'd asked him to come along after the previous couple of days but today he knew.

I'm slightly later than expected with this as I spent Saturday night in a hotel room which was hotter than the sun with the humidity of a thousand kettles going off in a lift. I've been dozing on the couch for most of the afternoon since I got home. The wife must despair at times.

We tend to bet on the tarmac somewhere nearer Windsor than the finish line and, whilst it is probably the best choice we have from our pick number, there is also a bit of self interest as you don't spend the whole day shifting picnickers from in front of your joint. There was a book a few years ago who came along on the Saturday with about 10 gallons of water wheeled in on a trolley. It wasn't even particularly hot that year. He proceeded to tip the whole lot in front of his joint after pitching up. No tartan rugs in his queue. Sales of whitewash in the Ascot area soar on the Saturday as well as impromptu hash marks appear, in order to denote where bottoms on grass is verboten. Again, no such issues for us in front of tarmac which was beginning to bubble up in the heat. The barefoot brigade may have been conspicuous by their absence though.

Directly at the back of our joint was particularly popular, sadly not due to my dashing good looks but because it afforded a square metre of shade as the sun continued to beat down. A couple parked themselves hard against the frame and, like us, relentlessly discussed the heat. Maybe they didn't have the app. Or perhaps they had the one my infinitely better half has which shows rain regardless of your location. "Rain . com" as it is affectionately known here.

We started chatting, he suggested to his girlfriend that she went topless, she replied in the vernacular, I told him he deserved it, I told her she could do better. But, unlike last year, I didn't mean it this time as it was all in good humour. They bet with us all day so I assume they didn't take offence.

1) 7 losers out of 17 sprinkled everywhere like a 4 year old with a tray of cupcakes and a tub of hundreds and thousands. We steered them all in win and place and started with a jackpot with the barely bet Spellen beating favourite Rubies and Pearls. Best win of the week. So far...

2) Age of Kings in the "smallish winner" category but great places again and memories of Thursday's comparative tumbleweed day were starting to disappear. It was this race that my long suffering and impossibly beautiful wife along with my long suffering and impossibly beautiful daughter starting watching at home and wanted the books to enhance their viewing experience. I wanted Zoology for an even bigger win than in the 1st. The girls at home wanted Zoology just as much as we did but, sadly, and despite hitting a low in running price, there was to be no animal magic. It's a good job I'm not superstitious or I'd have sent them to their rooms from 600 miles away.

3) The girls were watching again. According to commentator (we don't have tv screens at the 3f pole) Sacred had it won and we were in small win territory once more until there was an audible gasp when he realised another rank outsider, Khaadem, came and got home. We were slightly more vociferous in our audible gasping. The absolute jackpot of the week and possibly even the year. Thursday? What Thursday? At this point Andy Collins, the betting ring manager, came up to tell me that even I couldn't be miserable in the blog today. He was right. He was our first ever BRM when we started before heading for sunnier climes and we miss him. We do love John (current BRM) equally though!

4) The betting slowed as the temperatures continued to soar but we had another big win on Pyledriver who beat a taker (West Wind Blows) and we were grateful to Frankie for not featuring though, if we were being ultra picky, we'd have loved him to place.

5) Saint Lawrence. Smaller winner than you'd expect beating a couple of nice ones (Apollo One and Juan Les Pins) and an absolute stinker (Mum's Tipple) for a more gentle trot forward rather than the Gladiatorial type wins we'd been having. Our lovely Canadian punter bemoaned the fact that she missed it and even forgave Steve for suggesting she might be from Dallas. No, me neither.

6) Could we continue our, frankly, insane run of luck? Yes we could. The jackpots kept coming like a dodgy Z list casino ad that comes on at half time in the German footy at 11:30. Burdett Road another beast of a win.

7) No, we didn't win the last. We thought we had but we didn't. Jolly hung on but our balloon remained resolutely unpunctured after the best on course day since the Gold Cup Friday.

So there we have it. It'll be a while before we hit BAR-BAR-BAR again so I'm going to enjoy it. Even better the wife just asked me if I fancied a gin. If I didn't now have to light the pizza oven in a thunderstorm my life would be complete. A bit of misery Andy C, that one's for you mate. Come home soon if you can give me days like that at Kelso in February.

Plate Day next for us with an even earlier arrival time than at Ascot. We always lose there so it may be more punter friendly reading on Saturday. Until then...